well hello there

so the past few days have been ok... yes, just ok... i've been snacking... more than i should... but not TOO bad... i'm sure most of you know who bitch cakes is... well, she truly inspired me... i've been catching up on all the posts i haven't read in almost a year... did you know she is down to her goal weight?!? she's done SO well!! but it has taken her a while... and she's gone up and down with her weight... she's struggled... she's binged... she's worked out... she's eaten healthy... she's gotten depressed... she's been happy... but she's there... she's at her goal! that made me realize that i can too... even when i binge... even when i work out... even when i eat healthy foods... even when i'm depressed and happy... someday, i can be there too... i just have to keep my eyes on the prize... so even if i only lose a half a pound a week, even if it takes a whole year, i'll get there someday... i think that's a part of why i get all crazy and binge so bad... i decide to lose weight, then i eat healthy for a week or so, i see some results, then all of a sudden i have a week where i don't lose much or at all, and BAM i freak out and binge for days... i think i just get so worked up about losing the weight quickly that i stress myself out... i think - ok, if i lose two pounds a week and i'll be down ten in five... but that is just NOT possible for me! i can last on a diet that is that restrictive for about a week and then i do all that freaking out stuff! so, from now on, i'm going to stick to about 1800 calories a day coming in, and working out at least four days a week... the working out part is definitely not hard for me... first of all, i already teach a step class at the y on saturday mornings... then, i'm once again getting ready for the ms 150 (a 150 mile bike ride for multiple sclerosis), so i've been taking a couple spinning classes a week, and if i can't make those i've been on the stationary or trainer... i also plan to make it to yoga on tuesday nights from now on (already went this week to start it off, i haven't been able to make tuesday nights because of my stepdaughters basketball games, but the season's over now!)... BUT the 1800 calories - not so easy...

i'll be working on it... and if that amount of calories means i lose less than a pound a week, well then i lose less than a pound a week... and it will take me 60 weeks to get to where i want to be... but hey, i'll get there... and i'm going to try my best! here we go!...............