...and i've taken full advantage... which is ok... i just can't do it once a week... maybe once a month...
i weighed in yesterday and today... 165 both days... i'm ok with that... for today at least... i did see a pic of me from a few years ago recently, tho, and felt really depressed... i was so thin! my belly was so flat... it's so hard to swallow... but i'm ok today, and that's a huge deal... i haven't been ok for quite a while... which has led to me binging even worse... i really think getting back to blogging has made a difference in me...
my husband and i are having some financial issues... it's stressing us both out tremendously... it's a very long and complicated story, so i'm not going to go into it, but i'm pretty sure he's going to end up with a bleeding ulcer or something... he hasn't been sleeping very well... i'm very concerned... i know things will work out and we will be ok, but it's a very hard situation to go through... this has only really been affecting my eating slightly... i've never really been much of a stress eater anyways, luckily... with how bad i binge sometimes and how stressed i can be, i'm lucky i don't - i'd be a thousand pounds at least by now!
i'm starting to get spring fever, that's for sure... if i had any ambition right now, i'd be outside on my bike... i can't WAIT to get out there!! my ambition is lacking because i know how cold it'll be... i have the gear, but it's only 35 degrees... that makes it dangerous as far as ice on the roads and stuff... i mean, i COULD do it, i'm just not motivated enough to deal with all that... i supplement my eagerness with spinning classes at the y, but it's just not the same... as a matter of fact, yesterday during class, the teacher/leader/whatever-you-call-the-position took us "up a hill" (done by gradually increasing the resistance) and on the way "back down" she said something along the lines of us coasting down the hill... i envisioned what it is like to actually be on a downhill, and the feeling just can't be replicated on a stationary bike in a small crowded room at your local y... i love feeling the wind in my hair... i love tucking down and gaining speed... it's just a freeing feeling... i can't wait to get back to it...
anyways, i'm doing well so far, and i'm just trying hard to keep at it... i'm ready for challenges and stresses and all that... i'm also taking my daily caloric intake down to 1600... that will help me lose a little better without restricting too much... here's to a new day!
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