Thursday, March 25, 2010

i'm baaaaaaaaaack!

ok i know i haven't been on in a while, but i'm back... and i'm back in it! after gaining about 10 pounds, i really got down and depressed... and i know i kept saying today is a new day, but it really took a while to get back in the groove of eating healthy and exercising... but after the past five or so days of doing really well, i feel much better... i really had to ween myself off of my crazy bad eating habits... each day i cut it down a little at a time until yesterday i actually ate within my calories limits... and i've exercised a total of 4 hours since sunday, which is great for me... i realized those horrible eating habits are like a drug for me... i do fine for a while and then i falter... i have to put myself through something very similar to rehab to get back to normal... i just wish i could be like a normal person and not have these issues... and for me, it's not just one particular set of foods, like sweets or carbs... it's everything... i mean, i went through two bags of pretzel sticks, an entire jar of peanut butter, one package of oreos and a whole tub of ice cream, just to give you an example of a few things, in a matter of one week... who DOES that?

so yesterday, i ate my normal cheerios bfast, then a banana for snack... i had a sandwich and trail mix bar in the afternoon... when i got home i ate grapes and then had a 6 inch subway club for dinner... i did snack on a bunch of stuff after dinner and through the evening, but i refrained from eating too much and it was all relatively healthy things... AND we went to the local elementary school's bball tournament game and my husband and stepdaughter both had a thing of nachos and cheese... and would ya know i didn't have even one bite!! yay!! so i'm not completely healed, but i'm better...

isn't it funny that at the exact same weight one can feel two completely different ways about his/her body? i haven't gained or lost over the past few days, finally! but i've felttwo completely different ways... last week i felt so fat and nasty... i couldn't even look at myself in my full length mirror and threw fits when trying on some old clothes and realizing that they don't fit anymore... but today, i felt thin... aain, i haven't gained or lost, and those stupid pants still don't fit, but i feel like i look ten pounds lighter! mentally i know i'm not, but it's really great to feel that way! :)

anyways, i'm done rambling for the day... i'll post more now that i'm not so depressed... i just couldn't bring myself to share my embarrassment with you, world, knowing that i was eating my fmily out of house and home... not only was i closet eating, but i was hiding from my blog too... sad, right?

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