rethinking your life...
basically, a diet has to be a lifetime committment to work... yeah, great... can you sense my disappointment? why can't we just eat what we want and stay within healthy weight ranges? last night i went overboard again.. i had, like, 10 reduced fat oreos... (i know, i know, so much for giving up sweets for lent)... the reduced fat part doesn't really make a difference when you eat that many! plus the milk i drank with it... i give up on myself! i guess i'm not quite to step two yet... i mean, i've lost lots of weight so far, but to get where i really want to be isn't going to come like this! i fit into the pants i wore when i was truly happy with myself, but they are a little too tight for comfort... that's not enough for me! how did i LIVE at that weight?? i just can't seem to do it now! i'm just so obsessed with what i eat and when i'm hungry and what my cravings are that it's nearly impossible for me to live normally...
well enough with the negativity for a while... i did get to go for a bike ride last night! i did about 15 miles!! it was a sinch, though, we stayed on fairly level roads and all... it was just so nice to get outside and the weather was beautiful for once to finally do so... it was my first time riding with clips though, so as you can imagine i struggled a little... as a matter of fact, at first i sort of forgot about them... there was something rubbing on my tire as i was going down my driveway, which is dirt rather than gravel or even pavement... i stopped to check on what was going on and totally forgot that i had to unclip my feet before i stopped... there i went, flop, tipped over and on the ground... i had to laugh at what it must have looked like, because i stopped and, well, just fell over... i was pretty ticked, though, because my pants and jacket, which is light blue, are brand new and now completely muddy! grrr... but again, with how much i was laughing at myself, it was easy to shrug off the dirt... after that i was extremely conscientious of my clips! :)
this morning was soooo nice i had a major itch to ride to work, but i don't have a backpack or anything yet, and therefore would have no way of lugging my clothes and laptop (and everything else i drag to work with me) to school... and i'd have to wear riding clothes and change for fear of getting my dress clothes yucky...
back to the original topic, i guess i'm just not passed step two yet... maybe i'm not even ready to be there yet... i'll just have to keep working at it... i need something to distract me, and hopefully this bike riding will be just that... there must be a void somewhere in me that i'm filling with concentrating so much on food... i guess i'll find out sooner or later
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