Wednesday, March 3, 2010

how to build a bridge and get over it

i was always a chubby kid... as a matter of fact, my mother always said that if you compare my baby pic to my younger sister's, we look like twins, and the only way to tell us apart (other than the massive difference in styles :) ) is that i am the chubbier one... i remember talking to a friend at the age of 10 about having big thighs... at ten! i also remember being made fun of for how i wore my pants (i had to pull them up high because that was the only way they'd fit without digging into my belly)... even now, after losing quite a bit of weight, when talking to my sister, she has reminded me on several occasions that i was once the 'fat one'... and it's not the typical teasing between sibs, she's serious and says it so matter-of-factly because she doesn't realize it still stings a little...

after reading a lot of posts and articles and watching some videos, i've decided to finally begin patching my wounds... it's time to get over the past and focus on a future... in watching biggest loser, i see those people breaking down and talking about their terrible pasts and then continuing with great weight loss success... i think that's a huge aspect of being successful in the weight loss realm... and i just haven't accepted my past for what it was yet... i just haven't totally forgiven myself for what i can't change... but today, i've made the choice to finally start... now, it's time to figure out how...

2 comments:

Michele said...

I know how that one goes!! I was always made fun for my weight through out middle school and high school! I try not to dwell on it as well, but it is hard because those years are such a big part of life! Good luck on trying to heal the wounds!!!

Denise said...

Just found you via Healthy You Challenge and wanted to say "Bravo" for acknowledging the role past hurts play in influencing our behavior in the present. I can remember being the butt of jokes in high school when I was at lower than my healthy goal weight and I know that played a part in the weight I've gained since.