sooooooo i woke up in the middle of the night last night worrying... just plain old worrying... about this that and everything! it kept me up for two hours... i don't really know why either... and as hard as i tried, i just couldn't go back to sleep... the lack of rest then led me to be too exhausted to ride my bike to work today :( i mean, i probably could have pushed through it, but i let myself have a break...
anyways, yesterday was SO on plan! my first day in over two weeks... i'm really striving for my limited snacks goal this week... i figure - start out small and work my way up... as a matter of fact, i didn't have NOT ONE afterschool snack! i didn't eat a thing until dinner! and then i had to rush through dinner because i had to cover for someone's boot camp class... right after that my stepdaughter had a band concert... so when i got home, i had a salad and a pear... and the entire thing of strawberries... once i started i just couldn't stop... i did put a tiny dab fat free redi-whip on each strawberry, but that couldn't possibly add up to too many calories... see, classic overeater - even though they were only strawberries and not cookies for once, i still had to stuff myself with them... but, i'd say the only downfall to my day was the donut i had in the morning... and even that was a small one, so that's ok, right? (i know i know, i'm just trying to justify it, but oh well)...
this morning i brought some cream of wheat to school for breakfast... i also had a big cup of coffee with hazelnut flavored creamer... i guess it's still not the best way to start the day, but it's not the worst either... and if i can keep my snacks to a bare minimum, i'll be ok... i've decided not to limit myself on what i want to eat, just limit the amounts... i am DEATHLY afraid to step on that scale though... my clothes are even tighter than ever, so i'm really just protecting myself from truly seeing how much weight i gained... i don't need to hit that massive downward spiral again and make things even worse! i am going to give myself the month of may to focus on little thinks (like the snacking) and not so much on the number on the scale... i can do this!
2 comments:
greetings and to accomplish everything you want!
It sounds like you are making some excellent process. It is hard to find an appropriate place for the scale in our lives. It is amazing how much control that number can have on our minds and hearts, I totally feel your pain. Keep up your hard work and I'm sure you will start to see results!
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