Wednesday, May 12, 2010

my post is late... and i'm certifiably insane

WOW, it's quarter after 11 and i'm just now starting my post for the day... i love reading blogs and really want to comment on everyone's... i like giving encouragment and sharing my own thoughts, even if people don't really care to hear them :) anyways, so since i started LHA, i am following an additional 30ish blogs, so now my dashboard is overloaded by the time i sit down to read in the morning... then with all the commenting and such, i think this is enough to be a freaking full time job... i enjoy it tho... too bad i don't get paid... now there's a thought...

anyways, so i'm weighing in later today... this is how my typical morning goes - my alarm goes off and by the time i'm done hitting snooze, i have to hit the ground running to make it to work in time... i'm still half asleep through it all, but luckily my body knows the routine and kinda runs on its own... after frantically doing my hair, getting dressed, packing my lunch, etc, i take the dog out and wrestle with getting him back in after he's done his business... generally it starts with, come on, then COME ON, then GET THE HELL IN HERE, NOW!!! after all that, i fly down the driveway, screech onto the road, and drive like a maniac to get to work... nevertheless i'm usually late... i don't feel too bad, my trailermate (yes, i teach in a trailer, there are only two of us in here, so it's kinda nice, yet sucks really bad when it's raining/snowing because we have to walk in and out of the building, but i digress...) gets to school later than i do, AND leaves earlier! so, needless to say, i have absolutely no time to weigh-in in the morning... i don't think i could take a very good pic of the scale with my eyes only half-opened anyways...

i'm honestly expecting a gain anyways... i just decided to participate on saturday, and spent all day sunday binging (that's the day i ate the entire container of ben and jerry's ice cream)... i did rather well on monday, but yesterday was another story... i ate five cookies and two bowls of tortillas at work... then i ate one and a half donuts at home... there's a story behind that, but i'll get to that in a minute... anyways, that all was on top of everything else i usually eat, so...

ok, so the donut thing - yesterday, after school, i knew to try to keep myself busy, so i ran to walmart... i walked around for quite a while, picking up random needs... then i got home and my stepdaughter was there working on her essay... so i brought my laptop into her room and kept her company by reading some of my fave blogs to her (this is one i read, which i happened to stumble on yesterday, and it was hilarious in a kind of sick way)...

after that i went into the living room to catch an episode or two of law and order: svu... my fave law and order, btw... if it ever comes to me having to rape and kill someone, i feel pretty confident i could do it without being caught, just from all the mistakes i've seen the perps make on that show... not that i'd ever do that, but i'm just saying... ANYWAYS, by this time it's like 6 and i'm STARVING!!!! so i call the hubs and he's busy, and he says he just wants to go out to dinner tonight... so, being that he'll be home shortly, i eat a pear... then a salad...

then, the donuts are calling my name... i can pretty much hear the bastards... i start pacing... i call the hubs back... 'you have to get home now' i say... he gets ticked cuz he hates when i'm demanding... o well, it has to be NOW... so i eat a donut... then i start to eat another... i'm conscious of what i'm doing tho, so i take that one and the rest of the box and throw them into the trash... THERE! HA! TAKE THAT!! i'm literally yelling at the donuts... how psycho is that?!?!?!?!? i spent the rest of the time pacing the livingroom, desperately trying to focus on the episodes of svu to keep my mind off the donuts... even from the trash can they are calling my name... by the time the hubs gets home, which is like 6:30, i'm in tears freaking out... I'M INSANE! i'm completely freaking nuts!!!

we went out to dinner and i comforted myself with a turkey/ham/bacon club with sweet potato fries... not TOO bad of an option... i stayed away from the fried crap and chose wheat bread... so, i ate half the sandwich and looked at the other half... i remembered the word enough... have i had enough? well yes... but, did i end up eating the other half? yeppers... i failed to set the half aside and take it home or something, but i triumphed in that i actually THOUGHT about whether or not i was full!!! that's a start!!! maybe next time i'll have the strength to stop! i don't know... it just felt great to even have that thought...

anyways, we got home and i cuddled up in the hubs's arms and watched the end of the biggest loser... they are looking AMAZING by the way.. i was really rootin for sunshine tho, she's come a LONG way... i did end up eating a jello pudding thing, but then i fell right asleep... today, i've had one cookie and haven't made my way to the lounge for more... i CAN do this dammit...

10 comments:

Tricia said...

I sometimes feel like blogging is a full time job :). Writing the posts is the quick part. Catching up with my friends is what takes so much time. I LOVE it, but always feel like I'm missing someone....

Amy said...

I love your writing funny/crazy writing style in this post--I identify with that!

You're right--thinking about stopping is a step in the right direction. Baby steps...

Amy said...

I meant to say I like your funny/crazy writing style, not "writing funny/crazy writing style." Doh!

Crystal said...

thanks amy... i'm too lazy to capitalize and use punctuation, and i've always wondered if that bothered anyone... it's one long run-on sentence... HA and so is this comment!

Mandie said...

Hey girl... let me just say you aren't the only one that's insane...I'm right there with you!!! You're making and taking the right steps, and I believe eventually this will all be 2nd nature to us both!!! :) Oh and I"m the queen of "..."..., see! OMG! I can't even NOT do it!! Crazyness!

Kari said...

Sounds like you're doing great. And YES, it IS good that you at least had the thought of taking half home. Celebrate that!

:D

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

Donuts? Don't get me started...I used to live on donuts almost exclusively last summer. I've hidden a box of donuts in the bathroom (behind towels under the sink), then later went back and ate 6 in one sitting (door locked, water on, "taking a shower").

Over the past few months I have stared into the pastry case at Starbucks, and before that, Tim Hortons, and almost said out loud, "You can't get me now".

I, too, have talked to donuts.

But see that? You did stop it! You triumphed!

Keep going! You can do this!

Lindsay said...

Your doing great! I love your writing style!

Salina Lyn said...

Here's to another opportunity to make good decisions tomorrow.

Drazil said...

Man I love Biggest Loser. And I'm with you - I need to find a way to get paid for blogging!