Wednesday, May 19, 2010

short post

yesterday, i ate like a normal person... although i've been binge free for about a week now, i haven't really been watching what i do eat... and yesterday, BAM, i did it... let me recap - a shake for breakfast (i have a bunch left over from one of my crazed diet fads, so i'm just trying to get rid of them... i'll drink one for breakfast if i'm in a really big hurry), salad and a small thing of french fries from the cafeteria for lunch (the fries aren't actually fried, they're baked in the oven... and they really jip portions around here), a banana, some blueberries and two chocolate oreos after school, a decent portion of tuna noodle casserole for dinner (and i DIDN'T go back for seconds, w00t w00t), and a salad at 7:00 to tie me over for the rest of the evening (refer back to my new weekly challenge - no nighttime snacks)... not bad, not bad at all! oh, and i ate a little more of my blizzard that i had left over from monday night, but i even put that back in the freezer and it's still there!! now THAT'S unheard of in crystal-land!! so i'm thinking this day to day living is really working for me... i mean, for the first time, i've found something that works...

tho, i'm still tired of looking in the mirror, or putting on clothes, and thinking about how much weight i've gained... i know i'm not HUGE, but i certainly feel it... i'm not meant to be this big... i know it... my ring size, like for my wedding ring, is 4 1/2... yeah you read that right - 4 1/2... and my collar bones have always stuck out! everything from my boobs up are tiny yes even my boobs, anyone want to donate to the crystal's boob job fund?? the hubs even makes fun of the size of my head he's just jealous that such a large brain can fit into a small space but, the further down you go, the bigger things get! until you hit my toes, which are petite like my fingers... and cute too...

i don't know... i'm proud of myself for not falling into binges lately... and i'm happy with the amount of activity i've been doing... and i'm really trying to get back into the weight-loss mode... i'm just impatient and need to slow myself down... keep reminding myself that i'm going day to day... it's working for now, but i'm deathly afraid of another binge hitting...

but hey, life goes on with or without us, right?

6 comments:

Syl said...

not binging for a week is a huge success Crystal, something definately to be proud of!

I am taking it one day at a time, one meal at a time, one workout at a time, seems less overwhelming that way!

Helen said...

Did you read Debbie (Becoming an Ex Yo-Yo Dieter) post today?

Because she talks exactly about making it through just one day. Sometimes it's all we can do to make it through one hour, or one minute.

But each and every time that happens be proud.

Chupsie said...

every day is a battle to do better than yesterday.. that's all we can focus on... and I think your doing a fantastic job about just cutting out the extras! I started like that... it makes everything else easier.

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

Day to day, baby! It'll get you (and me) through every time.

I know how it feels to be afraid of the binge...like it's lurking just around the corner, ready to bite you in the ass at any given moment...and binges do happen. (Lately, they've happened to me A LOT.)

But over time, you'll start to trust yourself that you can pick yourself up and just keep on going as if it had never happened.

And it all comes down to what we are doing RIGHT NOW.

You're doing great!!!

Drazil said...

You are kicking ass and taking names and YOU INSPIRE ME! You go girl.....on to week #2!

Faby said...

380 minutes! thats awesome~
I am there with ya with the binging.. I do BAD when I go out for girls night out or something... which is coming up for me this Friday, plus graduation parties etc... so I am gonna try to use "bank account logic" I can binge on some things and not others... I will let ya know how that goes :)