OA meeting #1

yep, that's right, you are looking at the newest member of OA in my area... i made it to my first meeting last night... but before i get to that, let me start with the beginning...

first of all, yesterday's post listed my goals... OFFICIALLY accomplished all but cleaning up the kitchen... which is okay because i took on another task that i've been putting off for a long time... there's always today with the kitchen, right? anyways, so yes, i went to the y right after school.... here are some pics:

that's me getting on the treadmill... there were only two other guys there... it was nice that it wasn't so busy... i hate when it's crowded

yep, you're reading that right, 45 minutes on the treadmill... it felt really good... i did a 5 min warm-up @ 4mph, then intervals of 10 min @ 6 mph, 5 min @ 4mph, 5 min @ 6 mph, 5 @ 4, 5 @ 6, 5 @ 4, 5 @ 6 and then a 5 min cool-down at 3 mph... my shins were SCREAMING tho!! and today my right knee and both hips hurt a little... but that's ok, it's worth it!

yeah, that's right, that's me in my sweaty glory! look at those hairs on the back of my neck completely soaked... mmmmm, yummy... :)

anyways, i'm really happy i went... right after that i went grocery shopping... i didn't buy anything unneccessary except for sugar free worther's candies... come on, they're only 5 calories per piece... even if i go crazy and eat the whole bag, it's only like 50 calories... i'm cool... then i ate two bowls of beef stew and two and a half biscuits... could have done without the biscuits and should've left it at one bowl of stew, but at least i didn't go overboard! i was really happy about that one... at softball practice i did run around, but unfortunately i was only there for a half an hour because i had my OA meeting... so i didn't get much activity in, but it was still fun... and hey, don't have too much faith in me, i SUCK at softball... it's an adult church league so they have to let me play :)

and now, for the best part of the post - OA... sooooo, it was a little different than what i expected... but i guess i really didn't know what to expect really... it was just a basic meeting... kind of an introduction, but all the members had been there for a while... there was a guy who, at 93 years old, has been coming since the 1970s... they talked a lot about weight loss and little about food... at the end, the leader asked if i had any questions... i said, i guess i just want to know where to start... i mean, if it were the simple case of sugar addiction, it'd be easy to just say 'ok, i'll cut out sugar'... don't get me wrong, it'd still be a tough struggle, but at least i'd have a start... but i'm the classic case of overeater, where i'll eat just about anything... i mean, i'll sit down with an apple, and next thing i know, i'll have eaten 4 or 5... don't ask me where i put it all... so, i asked, what do i do... she said to start with the first step - admitting i'm powerless to food... i said i've already done that, but she asked 'really?' have i REALLY admitted to being powerless? she said to start with the definition of powerless....

Powerless - Function: adjective
Date: 15th century
1 : devoid of strength or resources 2 : lacking the authority or capacity to act

the devoid of strength and resources really hit me... i mean, i've always thought of myself as a pretty strong person... i've never had an addiction to anything... unless you ask the hubby, he'd say clothes... and resources? well i guess OA is one, but i have nothing else to help me out of this addiction... i mean, admitting that i'm powerless is one thing, but finding the true meaning behind it is another... this is just one thing i really have to think about and meditate on...

the leader also told me to look up 'enough'... she said she's contemplated tattooing it on her arm so everytime she lifts her hand to put food in her mouth she'd be reminded of what's enough!

Enough - Pronunciation: \i-ˈnəf, ē-, ə-\
Function: adjective
Date: before 12th century
: occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations

i found it ironic that the sample sentence in that definition contained the word 'food'.... so, i'm left to question myself on what is enough? is an entire bag of pretzel sticks in one setting enough? or is just a handful? how much food is truly enough to fullfill my health needs... the leader also mentioned writing it on a notecard and sticking it to the fridge as a reminder for everytime i go to get something to eat... i'll tell you one thing though, i've definitely had E.N.O.U.G.H. of this obsession and addiction!!

finally, the leader talked about coming up with a food plan... that's where i'm really going to struggle... i was in weight watchers for years, and all i can think about is the points values for different foods... but my problem was, yeah, i could eat those set points, but was i really getting the true nutrition i needed? i mean, i LOVE milk, but i never drank it when i was on ww because a cup is 2 points... and when your hungry, you don't want to waste points on MILK... and who knows the long term effects of not getting enough calcium... WAIT, there's that word again, enough!

overall, i have to say the OA meeting wasn't a complete waste of time... i got a little out of it, not as much as i had expected... but they stressed several times that this is no quick fix... they mentioned patience in just about everything they said... it's a process that i'll have to work on, not just some overnight revelation and cure... so i'm not going to give up... one person i talked to said the goal is to try at least 6 meetings... if after 6 i think it's not for me, than ok... but at least give it a shot 6 times... so that's what i'm going for - 6 meetings... next monday we have a softball game, so i'll be late to the meeting, but i'm going to go... i'm hungry to find out what's in store (get it, hungry? ha!)