LHA... OA... etc...

first off i'd like to bring it to everyone's attention that bono from u2 is 50 today... love that guy! happy bday!!

ok, on to the more interesting topics... first of all my weekend was a total flop eating-wise... actually 'flop' probably doesn't even come close to explaining it... i went out to lunch on saturday, dinner on saturday night with my mom, breakfast on sunday morning, and dinner on sunday night with my hubby's mom... that's not including all the junk i ate at home, plus TWO donuts on sunday morning and an entire tub of ben and jerry's half baked ice cream... i'm a hot mess here!

let's call this weekend my last hurrah cuz i'm hitting up my first OA meeting tonight!!! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! i really hope this helps me... i just can't wait to begin the end of these massive binges... i've always been a very logical person, so i think knowledge of what i can do to mentally stop the cravings will be great for me... i'm soooo mentally exhausted from constantly obsessing about food, i just want to be normal again... i can't wait to be able to post tomorrow on how it went!

also, i BEGGED and pleaded and was allowed in to the LHA challenge (click on photo above for the link)... this stands for long, hot, active summer... it was headed up by The_Exquisite_Christine, so visit her site!! i guess we weigh in every wednesday throughout the summer... i'm not worried about being the one to lose the most amount of weight, because i'm sure there are tons of others in the contest that have more to lose than me, but i want to win the exercise time category (there are prizes for both most weight lost and most time exercising)... i mean, come on, i'm already enrolled in several bike rides for the summer - who's gonna beat my hours on the bike?? lol... anyways, i'm a little late starting, but here is my beginning weight:

there's a lil summin summin stuck on my scale, but yes, that reads 163.5... and YES that's a ladybug tatoo on my toe (i LOVE ladybugs :) ).... anyways, i have to tell you the story as to why i'm so late on weighing in... i was AFRAID to step on the scale... that would mean i'd have to face just how much weight i've gained over the last few months... and i pretty much swore off the scale until june... and i really don't want to go against that, but i'll have to at least step on it once a week... dammmmmmmit... i really don't want to obsess over that number! but, after going to plato's closet to buy some better fitting pants, i decided enough is enough, because i've officially gone from a size 8ish to a 13/14...

i would be depressed, but since i've been taking my anti-anxiety meds on a regular basis lately, i'm physically unable to be sad... (yeah, i'm pretty much a zombie on these meds, which was why i tried to stop taking them... but after going through a really bad bout with depression, i put myself back on them and figured being a zombie is better than having thoughts of suicide)....

SO, i'm excited to announce my daily goals... i'm going to take this slowly and go one day at a time, rather than trying to do the weekly thing... with my binges being so bad, i typically would forget about my goals by the middle of the week and then be really bad off by the end... so for today:

1. go to the y right after school... i figure the y is much slower around 2, 2:30, in the afternoon, so i won't have to face too many people.. i really haven't been there since i started gaining so much weight and really don't want to face the embarrassment of a 25 pound weight gain... so i brought my gym bag to work and plan to hit them up on the way home...

2. go grocery shopping and NOT by junk food.... that's right, no cookies, no chips and NO fake healthy stuff... you know, like the 100 cal pack and stuff... the things i'd usually buy because i figure i'd need a snack and a 100 cal pack isn't too bad... yeah, because then i'd eat the ENTIRE freaking box of 100 cal packs and that adds up fast!

3. eat a good portion size of beef stew... my mom-in-law is inviting us to dinner and she's making her yummy beef stew... let's keep this to a reasonable amount, shall we??

4. really move around at softball practice tonight... last time, i just stood in the outfield and let everyone else run around for the ball... last year, i was super into it and ran around just like everyone else... i need to get back into that pattern... i mean, softball is a great activity to get moving if i actually do so!

5. go to OA... again, super excited!!

6. CLEAN MY ROOM... i was looking for clothes this morning and was so frustrated... i've totally let my room go and my clothes are just in huge piles that fall over... see, the hubs does the laundry... it's always been that way... and i totally LOVE him for it... i HATE doing laundry... but he just folds my stuff and sets it in piles in my bedroom (we sleep in one room, but i consider the spare room my bedroom because i get ready in there and my closet's in there)... which is perfectly fine, i wouldn't expect him to put my clothes away too, but they tend to pile up because i'm lazy!

7. clean up the kitchen... the kitchen is my responsibility... since i went to visit my mom over the weekend and wasn't home, it's atrocious... the sink is kinda stinky from the pizza the hubs made on saturday night... he just left the empty sauce can and everything sitting in there... i mean, i realize i'm supposed to clean the kitchen, but COME ON, at least throw the can away :) o well, no big deal...

so there it is... my plan for the day.... too bad i have this job craziness getting in my way, or i'd have way more time to get it all in and have a little extra to rest... i'm gonna be SO busy tonight!! well i can't wait to check in tomorrow and let y'all know how it went!! happy monday everyone :)